No two relationships are the same. As such, some people will inevitably wish to forgive that someone for cheating and wonder how to forgive. Regardless of the ultimate decision of whether to forgive or not, knowing the upsides of forgiving someone for cheating is just as important as being aware of the downsides. Whether or not you decide the pros outweigh the cons or vice versa for deciding to forgive someone for cheating is entirely your call; however, everyone deserves to make an informed decision about their relationship and how to move forward.
The ability on how to let go of anger and resentment is certainly a benefit that comes along with forgiving someone. Feeling hurt, angry, or even resentful after being cheated on is perfectly normal; however, when these feelings are not processed or released constructively, this is when problems arise.
Forgiving a cheater allows for the person who was wronged to heal. Ultimately, holding onto negative emotions does not benefit anyone, and it certainly doesn't hurt the cheater more than the someone who was cheated on. Learning how to let go, to forgive, and move forward in life is a valuable life skill; the merits are not mutually exclusive to a relationship.
In many cases, when this happens in a relationship, this is a symptom of other underlying issues in the relationship. Of course, there is nothing that merits unfaithfulness, although forgiving a cheater does allow for more deep-rooted problems in a relationship to be dealt with. Solving the cause of relationship struggles can often result in a partnership that is better and healthier. Of course, when fixing issues that exist in a relationship, both parties must be willing to. Remember, a relationship only works if both individuals are on board and willing to put in the necessary work.
Despite the opinions of others, not everyone is ready to call it quits on a relationship after cheating immediately. Many people are still interested in seeing whether or not a relationship has a future. It's impossible to know what lies ahead and ultimately, only time will tell what will come of a relationship, primarily if this occurred. People who are interested in seeing if their relationship has a future deserve to do so.
This will ultimately require them to forgive the one who cheated and attempt to move forward in the relationship. The drawbacks of forgiving a cheater are regularly discussed in society. Despite what many people view as upsides to the forgiveness of cheating, others maintain that cheating ought to be a deal breaker. There are a series of downsides to forgiving a cheater, and each person deserves to be aware of them as they decide what to do next. One of the most obvious drawbacks of forgiving a cheater is that they could cheat again.
This doesn't happen in all situations; however, when one is willing to break their commitment to remain loyal and faithful, this says a lot about them. It is not particularly uncommon for first-time cheaters to later become serial or habitual cheaters. Forgiving a cheater can easily be interpreted as acceptance of cheating, of which many cheaters tend to take advantage of. Anytime one chooses to forgive a cheater, they are running a risk of being subjected to further cheating.
Forgiving a cheater and remaining in that relationship can be incredibly hurtful. To always be reminded of the fact that the one who promised to be committed to you broke that promise is not a good feeling. Questions about whether this type of existence is even mentally healthy could also be raised. No matter how much a cheater apologizes, promises not to do it again, or tries to atone, they will never be able to take back their actions.
To at least some capacity, the acts of cheating will add a new dynamic to the relationship. Remaining in a relationship with a cheater robs you of the opportunity of a relationship with a partner who won't cheat.
The reality is that there are many people in this world; the potential to be in a healthy relationship that is free of cheating exists. Occasionally, it's not always easy to remember this, especially in the wake of a partner who has chosen to commit adultery.
Occasionally, one door has to close so another one can open. Occasionally, leaving one relationship allows a better one to come later on down the line. If you find yourself in a situation where you are cheated on, knowing what to do is not always easy.
Weighing the pros and cons is still helpful, but ultimately, you must make the decision that is best for you. It's also important to note that forgiving a cheater does not always mean that they will want to remain in the relationship. Occasionally, people cheat because they are looking for an out. Obviously, this doesn't make cheating right or acceptable by any means, but it's still a thing to be aware of.
As you decide whether or not to forgive a cheater, it's also important to understand that you are not at fault for what happened. Occasionally, individual cheaters will attempt to blame their partner or to claim that if their partner had or hadn't done a particular thing, they wouldn't have cheated.
This is a bogus reason, and it's not a reason that you should internalize. Each individual is accountable for their actions. Attempting to pass the buck, as opposed to taking responsibility for one's own choices, is very disappointing.
How a partner conducts themselves after their cheating comes to light is another important detail that speaks volumes about character. This should be taken into consideration when someone is deciding whether or not to forgive a cheater. Relationship drama is complicated enough; adding cheating into the mix often makes matters ten times more complex.
Some people can work through these issues on their own and forgive; others may require help, and there's nothing wrong with that. The ability to seek advice when necessary is an advantageous skill that will undoubtedly have both short term and long term merits.
If you are dealing with issues regarding relationships, cheating, struggling to forgive or another matter entirely, signing up for online therapy with ReGain will undoubtedly prove to be beneficial. Working with an online therapist allows you to get the help you need regardless of who you are, where you live, or what your lifestyle looks like. Having someone to talk to is often mentally and emotionally beneficial, as is getting advice that is directly relevant to your situation and what you are dealing with.
Working with an online therapist will not automatically make your troubles disappear. It also won't guarantee that you never face challenges in the future. However, what online therapy can do is successfully ensure that you are equipped to deal with present issues and any future situations which may arise. Cheating shatters relationships on occassion. Can a cheater be forgiven? Physically didn't have the money to break up with her, if that makes sense. After the lease ended and we moved into separate places, I gave us a few more months, but we ended it in April.
Probably a good thing, because her and her new BF just celebrated their one year [anniversary] in October. All the insecurities and negative thoughts will slowly eat you apart. Don't recommend anyone to go through the same experience.
We're still good friends though. The trust was gone. Surprisingly, he began to treat me as if I had cheated. It was like cheating woke him to the possibility that I could do it, too. Needless to say, we broke up a few years later. I wish it had been sooner. Totally regret it now. Once a cheater always a cheater. After breaking up I found out in the four-year relationship he cheated with five people that I know of including my close friend and another family friend.
Yes, he knew they both were known to me. It was a drunk kiss in a faraway country. He called me immediately, told me everything, and stepped on the plane home an hour later. The next day we talked, talked, and talked, and eventually I decided to forgive him. Obviously it hurt our relationship I couldn't trust him anymore the way I did but in some crazy way it also made us stronger.
It made us see what we almost lost and showed the value of our relationship. Today we are stronger than ever, but obviously still working through what happened. I'm glad I forgave him and that I therefore gave him a chance to make everything right, which he did.
We all make mistakes; it matters how we deal with them. No sex, but it doesn't have to be sex to be cheating, right? I gave her a second chance because she communicated with me. She told me everything she could remember the next morning, and was crying and remorseful. But above all else, I laid down what I would need to be able to trust her again. I told her I needed her to stop going out and getting drunk like that, especially with the people she was with because they encouraged it.
I didn't give her an ultimatum, I even said if she still wanted to drink I'd happily go out with her and be her DD and her moral compass, considering none of her drinking 'friends' would be. I should probably note I'm not a saint when it comes to relationships. In fact, I'm a notorious cheater. I believe that my past urge to cheat comes from never really wanting to commit to a relationship — but still selfishly wanting all the benefits of having one.
As Dr. Susan Edelman , board-certified psychiatrist and author of Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution for Women , previously told Elite Daily, "There are many psychological reasons why a person has the urge to cheat , but the best explanation is one that Bill Clinton used in explaining his affair with Monica Lewinsky.
He said he did it 'because [he] could. In my bizarre and dreadfully muddled dating history, I was the glutton who wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. My ideal situation was to have my partner wait for me at home while I was off kissing strangers in sketchy dive bars. In this ideal world, my SO would understand my need to be free. But that doesn't happen in reality. Instead, I was forced to question what was so wrong with me that I felt compelled to cheat. I questioned why I never really felt guilty, either.
Here's what I came to realize: everything had to do with the tepid feelings I had for the people I was dating. I didn't care enough about my relationships to not risk ruining them.
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