Instead of putting yourself in the position of why-answerer, try turning the tables. Become the why-asker! Open-ended questions allow your child to do the thinking and develop critical-thinking skills , which are the foundation of learning. After all, they asked the thought-provoking questions in the first place, so help their noodle ponder the reasons why. If your child is a little older, you may ask if they want to look up the answer with you. Realizing this helped me choose which suggestions to focus on.
If Lincoln wanted to know about camera apertures or political theory, I could answer his questions more accurately. A tip I read recently for encouraging life-long learning is for kids to see their parents searching for answers.
These are called evergreen trees. Some trees have leaves that change color and fall off before new ones grow in. In the fall the leaves change to orange or yellow or red or brown before they fall off. Usually the leaves grow back green in the spring.
It also gives me some freedom to direct the conversation. We were on a walk and saw our neighbor put a letter in the mailbox. Phew, that was a lot! Tell me more, please? There was no need to mention because, or therefore, or cause, or effect. After a brief interchange, we were both happy.
To save my sanity, I switched tactics and started putting my hand on her shoulder to slow her Tasmanian Devil rampage. We were managing alright until a middle-aged man took his life into his own hands by walking right in front of her cart as we entered an aisle. I let go, and she plowed ahead into the aisle, not at all flustered by the near-collision.
My head snapped up, my narrowed eyes settling on the source. I calmly explained whatever it was to my toddler, sometimes even coming up with a playful metaphor to bring the point home. Instead, I came up with a new phrase that I use in those situations. Even when I do hear a why, my toddler will often jump right in after her own question to offer up an idea for an explanation.
And wait for her to come up with an explanation. Your little one might need a gentle nudge when you first try this out, so feel free to ask some follow-up questions to get her gears turning. For example:. This phrase has been a lifesaver in the last few weeks. I now have a positive way to respond to kids asking why, giving me one fewer trigger for losing my cool with my little ones.
And kids are intuitive. I made the mistake of using a snappy tone one day, and my daughter shut down. We were back to square one. The magic lived on! Facebook preview photo by Donnie Ray Jones. I believe if you want a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now.
The good news? All you need is 10 minutes a day. Start here ». Note: All information on this site is for educational purposes only. Happy You, Happy Family does not provide medical advice. If you suspect medical problems or need professional advice, please consult a physician. Your email address will not be published. Love it! It goes WAY to fast! I am definitely going to give this a try! Why does it bother people for their children to ask questions? At least I know the answer to that one.
Most of his questions are about why people think or do things. Or, do you want to seize the opportunity for learning and engage with your child by providing an adequate explanation and further your conversation? Because honestly, two minutes of peace and quiet to go to the bathroom is not too much to ask. Whenever possible, encourage your child to ask questions because this fosters their natural curiosity and independence.
When answering questions and conversing with your child, be an active participant. McCormack suggests getting on their level or making eye contact if possible , showing genuine interest with tone of voice and non-verbal cues, and ultimately asking them questions to practice problem-solving and critical-thinking skills.
Engaging with our children in this way helps to strengthen our parent-child bond and encourage independence. But then there are those moments when we, as parents, get blindsided by uncomfortable questions. How you react during these moments when it is especially important to establish open lines of communication? Alan Kazdin, Ph. When relevant, include your family beliefs and values. This is particularly useful when tackling tough subjects with older children.
Michele Borba, Ed. Engaging in open communication with your children from a young age, sets the expectation that your kids can talk to you about difficult subjects.
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